There`s many moments where you`re made aware of how small your existence is in comparison to the vastness of life. And such moments often really make you stop in your tracks and ask yourself “who am I?”  Perhaps you start to question your own worth and you unravel the person you are in this moment of time and how it`s so far from the person you want to be. Maybe you are filled with doubt at your very own abilities and feel that your dreams and goals are too far-fetched to ever become a reality. Or maybe you feel extremely self-conscious and don’t feel beautiful and confident in your own skin. If you find yourself in the midst of such struggles, know that you`re not alone. Although it`s far from pleasant, it`s perfectly human to struggle with your self-esteem and self-worth, whatever your situation may be. Yet that doesn’t mean you have to give up. You can take your power back and redefine your self-esteem and self-worth step by step:

 

1. Recognize that your worth is God given

When struggling with low self-esteem and self-worth it`s not uncommon to question the meaning and purpose of your life. And it`s only after you`re sick of binge reading cheesy quotes, watching countless ted talks and ordering yet another self-help book, that you realize you still feel the insecurity and smallness inside. And as ironic as this may sound, the insecurity and smallness you feel are not such a bad thing. Without feeling such heavy emotions, you wouldn’t really consider confronting all your inner chaos and choosing to see there`s potential for you to be who God created. Now you might be thinking that this makes little to no sense at all. Yet consider this, when admiring a beautiful work of art, you`re left in awe and admiration for the artist. For without the artist, there would be no art. And this applies to us human beings too. Without recognizing and knowing Allah, the canvas of our existence seems bleak and meaningless. Once you open your heart to the One who gave you life, you realize how precious your very existence is. You realize that you worth is God given and your life holds deep meaning and profound value.

 

2. Know who you are

Whether you`re in a job interview, talking to someone you`re getting to know or attempting to write a university application, there`s always that one question that has you racking your brain in a fit of nervousness. And the question is nothing simpler yet ironically just as ambiguous as “can you tell me about yourself.”  A lot of the times we like to tell ourselves we know who we are. Yet really looking inside and being honest with yourself about who you are takes an immense amount of courage and work. Without knowing, we often define our beliefs about ourselves on what we have been told. Maybe someone told you that you`re not talented enough to write a book or that you`re too old to start University. Or perhaps someone jokingly commented about your shy personality and it filled you with shame. To get to know who you are, you need to unlearn everything everyone`s told you about yourself. This does not mean you avoid taking advice and completely shun off those who want to see you grow. Rather it`s realizing what to reflect on and what to ignore. Bullet point, journal or just simply write out what makes you, you.  Explore your passions and ask yourself what motivates and inspires you.  Don’t convince yourself you have no strengths and fill your page with an endless list of everything you despise about yourself. Rather be honest about the things you`re good at and balance it out with everything you`re not so good at and want to work on.

 

3. The way you speak to yourself matters

You`re probably sick of seeing and hearing this phrase scattered all over your social media feed, but the way you speak to yourself really does matter. You cannot hate yourself into loving who you want to be. Beating yourself up for not being confident or motivated enough will not inspire you to better. To inspire and pursue real change, you have to water yourself with love. When you`re accustomed to feeding yourself negative thoughts and words, speaking and thinking positively  is extremely difficult at first. As silly as it may feel, telling yourself something as simple as “I am beautiful and my life has meaning` every morning, can have a really big impact.

 

4. Take small steps

When we intend to better ourselves and take the first steps towards change it`s easy to anticipate quick results. Yet as you have probably heard a million times before the day you plant the seeds is not the day you eat the fruit. Things take time. You will most definitely mess up, make mistakes and lose motivation. You will experience moments where you may begin to  taste at the sweetness of self-acceptance. And there will be other moments where you feel like a complete and utter mess. Yet you must remind yourself that a bad moment, bad day or even a bad week do not discredit how far you’ve come.  All the small moment where you mustered the courage and took action to strive to be better holds so much value. Celebrate the steps you’ve taken and the progress you have made. Allow yourself to stop and rest whenever you feel overwhelmed yet pick yourself back up and keep going. And remind yourself that as long as God gives you life, there is always hope.